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Paula Grillo's avatar

How beautiful. I'm excited to read this again, and straight away. There are too many favorite parts to name, but I'm especially loving the bit where you teach Franc a thing or two about packing up spices. Such a delightful tribute to your best friend!

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Karen Harris's avatar

Oh thank you, friend! I am so grateful you are reading these, and think of you and how lucky your students are, often! xo

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Glenda's avatar

Thank you, Karen, for writing all this. Love your memories, what you cling to and what you let go. I had my own memories from New Haven and that special night for Franc as I listened to Lucinda, diminished but still herself. I was feeling the rhythm of a cycle that never stops in the same place. 2001 was one of those chapter-years that changed the world abruptly, wrenching, making us face cruel losses. Glenda

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Karen Harris's avatar

Glenda! Thank you for reading it, and for writing THIS! A cycle that never stops in the same place- yes!! A spiral? Hopefully going up. That really was a year. xoxo

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Stephanie Daniels's avatar

Spot on! The complicated nature of friendships that are more like marriage, the spaciousness in oneself to recognize and celebrate another’s joy as your own, and capturing that tumultuous time of 2001. The Franc- Lucinda show, 9/11, John’s passing and Abby (and Spencer’s!) births was a crazy time. Thank you!

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Karen Harris's avatar

I think you've always had that spaciousness from the get-go. And yes- so much in that one year, just like Glenda and you are saying...Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your words here xoxo

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Keira's avatar

Karen! You need to teach this one in next FILFA! This takes on all the complexity of friendship with real honesty. And you pepper it with so much wisdom - yours and hers (and Sendak's!). "I helped her remember that people often don’t know what they’re doing, especially the ones who are absolutely certain they do." and "Just tell them if it's true. If it's true you tell them." You have always done this both with your friends and your students, and we're all better for it! xoxo

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Karen Harris's avatar

That would be great! (Friendship in Literature, Film, and Adolescence is FILFA in case anyone is wonderin.)...Man, I hope so. And yet I don't even know if I agree with Sendak's no-filter approach. I definitely didn't practice it as a parent...or maybe even a teacher? Thank you for being my friend. I am better for it! xoxo

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Mary Rowen Horgan's avatar

This is beautiful, Karen. I love your honesty, and the stuff you say about friendship and envy really hits home. Also, I wish I knew you were at the Lucinda show. I'm working at the Orpheum now--Lucinda was my first show. xo

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Karen Harris's avatar

Thank you so much, Mary! I would have loved to have seen you! So cool you're working there. Don't sit in the seats or you'll get a bad back! xo

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Mary Rowen Horgan's avatar

So true about those seats. If you're able to get the ones at the very front of the orchestra (the new black seats) they're far more comfy. I was working the balcony the night of Lucinda and am guessing you were on the floor.

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al janik's avatar

damn karen ... so much i could say ... but mainly i love the two of you (three of you counting lucinda) and confess i am soooooooooooooooooooooooo jealous of the wonderful friendship you have with each other ... hold tight to those you love darlin' ...

and if you all ever go out looking for new friends to adopt or something, make sure you let me know before the line gets oh so very long

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Karen Harris's avatar

Consider yourself courted, Al Janik! xo

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Stephen Bird's avatar

oh boy did this bring back so many great memories... so much fun and music with you both. much love to you both, and thank you for writing this Karen... stevie

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Karen Harris's avatar

Thank you for reading it! Xo

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Carolyn Harris's avatar

Love this Karen, now I believe it’s my favorite of all your stories!As your mother I remember most of the events, and of course Franc, but to read about the emotions and backstories was amazing and so beautifully written!❤️

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Karen Harris's avatar

Thanks, Mom! Published a while ago, but seemed apropos for a big bday girl! xo

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Glenn Cook's avatar

After reading your comments this morning, I scrolled through the index of your essays (many of which I want to read) and landed on this one. Big Lucinda fan, and have been fortunate to photograph her at shows several times, and loved how you weaved everything together here.

Here's one of mine I think you might enjoy that also involves a longtime friend, life and death, and a musician: https://open.substack.com/pub/glenncook/p/music-faith-death-and-texas?r=727x&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

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